had the boys for a full week, and life was good. Soime paperwork has shown up that needs my attention, expect short blogs for the next few days

The latest edition to the lineup these days has been a variety of ‘reality’ shows based on animal cruelty and the humane society efforts to save animals.  What amuses me is the approach each of them takes.  One of Melissa’s favorites I can understand.  They show the animal in pain and being mistreated, the rescue, the care and assisstance provided, and the happily ever after with the animal now living in a good home.  Along the way the evil-doer is punished and evevyone lives hapily ever after.  Feel good story, cute kittens, the works.

But one of the others treats the show like COPS for animals.  The raid to ‘save the animals’ are chronicled, complete with the chase style camera work and no nonsense cop talk.  The problem is….nobody runs.  We get prepped for the planned raid into a home suspected of training dogs to fight, we get ominous music and scenes of policeman and rescue workers suiting up, the drive to the location, and then….they ring the doorbell!  BAM! In yo face!  Pleasantries are exchanged (POW!), the homeowner usually just lets the animals go (ZOK!), paperwork is completed (BOOM!)

Now if they got the midgets from TLC to do this, NOW I’m watching!

I’m surprised that my post “TLC: Multiples Midgets and cakes!  Oh my!”  continues to be one of my most popular blogs.  With all the fake TV we watch, you think I’d be able to convince Melissa how awesome Harvey Birdman is…

Today was the last day of Kindergarten for Liam.  I had the chance to attend the ‘graduation ceremonies’.  Liam had a chance to show Melissa and I what he had done for the year, and there was a slide slow as well.  It was great to share this experience with Liam one more time before he enters Grade 1 and the focus turns to more serious schoolwork.  Queen E is shaping up to be an excellent school and Liam is happy.  It was a great day.

My comedy calendar continues to be EMPTY.  And I mean nothing.  No local MC spots, no guest spots, no nothing.  I know this is part of the ‘season’ but I am quite nervous this year.  While Saskatoon has been an excellent choice for me personally, I sure am getting kicked in the balls financially. 

England has made it through to the quarter finals, and we get to survive long enough to fight the Germans….seesh aren’t we ALWAYS the one left to fight the Germans?

There was an earthquake in Ontario today; apparently even Mother Nature couldn’t believe the whopping bill we’re paying for the G8/G20/B14 (BINGO!) Summit.

I enjoyed the wonderful ‘Oops I deleted you from Facebook’ conversation today.  I got to ask ‘Oh so you ACCIDENTALLY looked me up on your contact list, then ACCIDENTALLY clicked delete, then when it asked you to confirm to delete me you ACCIDENTALLY clicked yes….some people.  I’m not hurt that you did it, just be a man about it.  It came up in trivial conversation, it’s not like I grilled you about it.  (For the record I’m aware there is a comedian that has a similar story in his act about being removed off a cell phone.  I’m not trying to plagiarize [this really happened today] but I couldn’t find the bit.  If anyone knows who this is let me know and I’ll post links to that comic’s site/videos)

I need a hat.

Ever try to explain the Matrix to someone who hated the movie?  You’re not going to win them over, just enjoy the kung-fu and say ‘awesome’ under your breath a lot.

I saw a presentation today at BNI that really got me thinking, I have some VERY creative ideas on how to help this person.

I’m going to work harder on my Facebook updates.  I’m twittering as well (See the links on the right) but there is some satisfaction in seeing a nice long thread form from a single comment….can’t wait until it finally happens to me.

Wow.  What a hell hole.  We signed up the boys for Taekwondo at a local civic center.  The class is great, it runs three times a week, and the instructor lives close to us.  It’s a very reasonable rate and the boys can attend class together.  So life is just DUCKY…. except for the 60-70 minutes I have to kill.  I don’t want to be in the classroom every time because kids never focus quite as well when Dad is watching.  I still walk down the hall and peek in a half dozen times, I love to see them concentrating.  But my options now are to purchase a membership and hit the pool, or spend an house in the animal house known as the public library.

As I type this, two really ugly kids are playing some type of online game and yelling from table to table.  Someone else down the aisle doesn’t realize the screaming toddler doesn’t want to be here.  And the librarians have an over-inflated sense of authority just short of prison guards.  So every time i come I hope for an internet terminal with a 60 minute time limit.  (ssshhh #1)  I thought this could be some quality productive time to do blog stuff, but I find myself having to withhold the fury that stupid people cause.

In better news, the lawn (ssshhh #2) has finally arrived…. well at least half of it.  It appears they underestimated the amount needed and now it’ll take two days to get it all in.  This would be fine if we didn’t have a severe thunderstorm watch in effect right now.  If I’m lucky we’ll just get a sprinkle and by tomorrow night’s blog I’ll actually have the start of a backyard.  

 (ssshh #3)

Well now here is an interesting aspect of using a library PC.  It appears the person before me left information on the clipboard.  While the right click function is turned off, let’s see what I get if I type ctrl-v

Mr.X

XXXX  Summers Places,Saskatoon,SK
XXX XXX
306 XXX-XXXX
Email;XXXXXXX@yahoo.com

Objective; TO obtain a permanent part time position

Skills and abilities

.Good communication and interperson skill
.Takes initiative in learning new tasks
.Organized,responsible and punctual
.Detail oriental multi-task with team working abilities
.Friendly, self motivated and enthusiastic
.Computer skill; MS words,exel,power point and internet

Works  history

Receiver at Maple Leaf Consumer Food                                          2009- continue
Kitchen helper(cutting vegetables, deep frying,perpar food
clean work place etc) at Tandoori Flame Indian resturant                2008-2009
Food counter attendant and Agriculture field  in Israel                    2004-2008

Education and training

.Completed of high school diploma 10+2 Nepal
.Food counter certificate  in Israel
.Health and safety training in Saskatoon,SK
.First aid and CPR certificate in Saskatoon, SK

Well let’s hope Mr. X gets himself a job here in Saskatoon.  Good luck X!

    I’ve now told the kids to shut up and there’s a screaming baby.  I’m headed to Wal-Mart for some peace and quiet.

So the wedding planning has begun in  earnest.  The date is set, the guest list is being prepared, decorations are being viewed…but top priority (of course) is the wedding cake.

Now I thought I was schooled on the subject.  Two seasons of Cake Boss and a few sessions with Liam and his e-z-bake oven and I was considering myself something of an expert.  I thought it was simple, get cake, frost, add flowery stuff, get little man and woman things and put of top.  Chill and serve.

I was wrong!  We just had our first wedding cake ‘consultation’.  Now I believe in getting advice on a lot of things.  An accountant for taxes, a mechanic for my car, all perfectly reasonable.  But I’m a 250 lbs guy people, I think I’d know a thing or two about cake.  There is a lot to consider, shape, size, servings, fondant (whatever the hell that is, looks like some sort of glue) the topper, the sides, the colours (fall wedding).  I…just want to eat the damn thing.

At least there was a tasting.  Now there was something I was able to help with.  I’ve decided that chocolate will be involved, no matter what.  I know men, I took a bold stand.  A few cupcakes and a hunk of fondant later (it’s actually some kind of sugar coating used to make the cake look smooth) and I was almost full.  Melissa mad e a VERY smart tactical decision and made sure I was full of a late supper before the tasting, that chick is smart.

Well below are some disaster cakes that we’ll try to avoid.  I’m back to work Monday, and still trying to get our backyard done.  I’ll explain that debacle soon.

Irwin Barker. Be at Peace.

I’m amazed how much I am into World Cup. Having a Brit sit next to me at work has greatly expanded my knowledge of the game, and now with a semi-trained eye the games are very exciting. I’ve picked the motherland so I’ll be cheering England through scoreless tie after scoreless tie. Woo-hoo!

Here are some classic red card clips

Website re-launch is till in progress, but I’m enjoying it. Writing is coming on strong as well, and I’ll be doing a guest spot at the Laugh Shop tonight. I’ll have footage of the new ‘Melissa is a Funeral Director’ material up this weekend.

As you can see by the changes I’m in the middle of updating….EVERYTHING

Stay tuned, I’ll make sure the content is worth the wait

Just got word that Tony Binns is expecting to be a father! It’s re-ignited the baby name war between Melissa and me…

Boy – Jason, Chuck, Levi
Girl – Paige, Phoenix, Tiffany
(names currently under consideration)

There are so many things to think about

Initals – a name like Chris Jason Penner (CJP) or Chistine Opal Wilson (COW) are bad combinations.

Flow – Trinidad Wolfgang Handcock…. more than a mouthful…

i’ll come up with more soon. Too excited to get all the ‘funny’ out but it’s there.

Guest spots at various clubs in Calgary. Website re-launch June 15th