I remember dreading the day my parents and teacher actually TALKED to each other. What would the teacher divulge about what I do away from the home? Just how bad would my punishment be when Dad got home? How would the three of them conspire to make my life misery?
Now that I’m the Dad, I can’t figure out where all the terror went. Both Max and Liam received excellent report cards. Outside a few things like writing neatness or not interrupting, there were no red flags. Both interviews were ‘three way’ where the kid also has something to say about the education process. We finished off the night with a trip to Dollarama where the kids picked out a new toy each for working so hard.
Or are they? This school seems to have ZERO consequence for not turning in homework or completing home reading. the grades are in the language of ‘beggining to meet expectations (that’s the worst you could do) up to Excelling’. The standard or C level grade was ‘meeting standard expectations’. there is no more pass, fail, incomplete, or even percentages. Just a vague impression that my kids are just like everyone else’s.
I can’t believe at 32 I’m already starting down the ‘in my day’ road that every man walks on his way to pants up to his nipples and an out of control tongue. But maybe the reason I was scared when I was a kid was because there was a standard to meet. An expectation of performance. We were graded, ranked, and assessed just as what happens in real life. Everyone knew who the smartest kid in the class was. When everyone got a test back from the teacher, the first action we all took was to determine in 7 seconds who got the high score. I even remember teachers pointing out the kids who did the best and challenging the others to match that.
Now my kids swim in the sea of mediocrity that is today’s educational system. I never meant for this post to take a negative tone, and I thought a light hearted comparison of my childhood to theirs would allow a quick one liners. Instead the more I dwell on it the more I realize that it is my responsibility to teach my boys that in life there are those who excel, and those who survive. Those who act upon the world, and those who let the world act upon them. those who strive to attain, and those who are happy to allow society and family to pay their bills and leech off the generosity of others. It doesn’t help when they have examples to the contrary, that someone will always arrive with a basket of money and a pat on the head when times are tough. That excuses can replace effort.
But I have good kids. Hard working kids. Kids who understand what they see around them. No report card or parent teacher interview will ever confirm or deny what I already know: Melissa and I are raising two wonderful boys who will have a set of values and the discipline needed to make something of themselves in the world. My kids will never just ‘Meet standard expectations’.